It seems like yesterday that you were here
But then one day God called you near
He whispered "June, it's time to go,
Your work is done, I think you know
You’re needed now in heaven above
To share with my angels all your love"
"Lord" you said "Your will be done
I've been tired now for oh so long
I'll close my eyes and go to sleep
And give my soul to you to keep
One thing I ask, my Lord, of you
Comfort my loved ones, help them through."
I watched you go, so much pain in my heart
I couldn't imagine us being apart
I held your hand and through the tears
I softly whispered all my fears
And I thought I heard you say
"I love you my daughter, but I cannot stay"
Although the weeks and months pass by
There are tears in my heart that I cannot cry
I miss you so much every day
A longing to see you, that never fades away
All I can do is to pray to God above
"Cherish my Mum, Lord, and give her all my love"
My Girls
Monday, April 09, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Keep going...
I'm still tired despite the early night and it meant I missed the update on Dad from my sister. I stopped in for a coffee with Bev on the way back from school this morning and Hannah had fun playing with Alfie. I've been pottering on the computer since then while Hannah has eaten a variety of snacks and watched the TV. It's too close to lunch time now to start a task, so thought I could try and keep the momentum going here.
I'm planning to do some housework and have a nap this afternoon while Hannah sleeps. I don't have work tonight but will be going to visit Dad if he is still in. I should get some time to myself tomorrow as Hannah has pre-school in the morning and the girls go to my sisters for tea. Thursday will be busy. I have the appointment with the Law Centre in the morning to discuss Hannah's DLA application, then toddler group in the afternoon.
One day, I will do some ironing......
I'm planning to do some housework and have a nap this afternoon while Hannah sleeps. I don't have work tonight but will be going to visit Dad if he is still in. I should get some time to myself tomorrow as Hannah has pre-school in the morning and the girls go to my sisters for tea. Thursday will be busy. I have the appointment with the Law Centre in the morning to discuss Hannah's DLA application, then toddler group in the afternoon.
One day, I will do some ironing......
Monday, April 02, 2007
Trying to get into good habits
I have discovered the longer it goes the harder it gets, and I feel any installments have to be earth shattering. So without a great deal to say, here goes.....
The weather has been good (I measure that on how effectively my washing dries on the line, so in other words sunny and windy). That always gives me a lift in spirits, and I have managed to stay reasonably above water as a result.
Apparently there is a big ruckus going on at the school about the allocation of nursery places, so will keep my head down about my coveted morning place for Hannah (apart from with my friends (help - am I in a school gate clique????) who also have mornings). Some children have not got in at all as it is oversubscribed for the first time in a long while. Others are unhappy that parents with children already at the school get priority for the morning session. Maybe they don't realise that when our first child went to nursery we were in the same boat and have had afternoons already for them.
I'm looking forward to the Easter holiday starting on Friday. Caitlin is tired and needs a break. Although she loves school, you can see she is getting to the point where she has had enough.
I'm feeling tired now, and planning an early night. I have been so tired, but have found it difficult to sleep the last few nights. There is lots on my mind.
Big discovery of the day - Hannah likes prawns! I have found a new healthy food she likes! Caitlin likes them too, but then she likes most things. Hannah is terribly fussy and won't even try something if she doesn't like the look of it, and protein is a particular issue (can you get all your protein requirements from sausage and ham? I doubt it.), so this is great!
The weather has been good (I measure that on how effectively my washing dries on the line, so in other words sunny and windy). That always gives me a lift in spirits, and I have managed to stay reasonably above water as a result.
Apparently there is a big ruckus going on at the school about the allocation of nursery places, so will keep my head down about my coveted morning place for Hannah (apart from with my friends (help - am I in a school gate clique????) who also have mornings). Some children have not got in at all as it is oversubscribed for the first time in a long while. Others are unhappy that parents with children already at the school get priority for the morning session. Maybe they don't realise that when our first child went to nursery we were in the same boat and have had afternoons already for them.
I'm looking forward to the Easter holiday starting on Friday. Caitlin is tired and needs a break. Although she loves school, you can see she is getting to the point where she has had enough.
I'm feeling tired now, and planning an early night. I have been so tired, but have found it difficult to sleep the last few nights. There is lots on my mind.
Big discovery of the day - Hannah likes prawns! I have found a new healthy food she likes! Caitlin likes them too, but then she likes most things. Hannah is terribly fussy and won't even try something if she doesn't like the look of it, and protein is a particular issue (can you get all your protein requirements from sausage and ham? I doubt it.), so this is great!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Blowing the dust off
Gently, otherwise I will be engulfed in a swirling cloud of the stuff.
Why I am finding it so hard to write here at the moment...because getting my thoughts together as per the description seems an almost impossible task. That's not to say that I am a complete mess (no more than usual anyway) but more that I'm having to take everything one small piece at a time otherwise I go into overload.
The longer I go before updating here the more I feel I have to give a synopsis of everything that has happened since 6th December. That is off-putting, so I'm not going to do it. If I'm dealing with things in little bits, then maybe I can blog in the same way.
This week has been one of emotional overload. My Dad was admitted to hospital on Tuesday, although very happy to report he is making good progress. I had Caitlin's progress report from her teacher, which was excellent! Hannah suddenly decided she didn't want to go into pre-school yesterday and broke my heart by crying bitterly when I left. Of course she settled down after I had gone, but it had a more lasting effect on me. My dear friend Amanda has undergone life saving surgery this week; happily all is going well so far but she still has more treatment to endure. It has also been a difficult week for missing mum. Her memorial was put up, last time Dad was in hospital she was here and I went with her every day, and it has really got to me that their house (in many ways my home) is empty at the moment. Hannah got into nursery for September, then threw me for a loop quizzing me about her Kasai scar (see her blog). So good things and bad, and I'm left not feeling down as such, more just emotionally drained.
For some reason (maybe the two fever scares that I already spoke about on her blog) I am feeling a deep and irrational fear for Hannah at the moment. Some of our friends at Liver Families are dealing with critical medical issues at the moment, and I want to appreciate Hannah's health and zest for life and most of all being at home and not in hospital. But I look at pictures of her from a year or two years ago and she looked much healthier than she does now. In the older pictures her cheeks were pink and rosy...now she often looks pale and almost yellowish (although I suspect the latter may be my overwrought imagination). I'm sure she is OK, but at the moment that little knot of fear won't leave my stomach.
The other thing I find hard about blogging is finishing my posts satisfactorily, so I shall finish there for now.
Why I am finding it so hard to write here at the moment...because getting my thoughts together as per the description seems an almost impossible task. That's not to say that I am a complete mess (no more than usual anyway) but more that I'm having to take everything one small piece at a time otherwise I go into overload.
The longer I go before updating here the more I feel I have to give a synopsis of everything that has happened since 6th December. That is off-putting, so I'm not going to do it. If I'm dealing with things in little bits, then maybe I can blog in the same way.
This week has been one of emotional overload. My Dad was admitted to hospital on Tuesday, although very happy to report he is making good progress. I had Caitlin's progress report from her teacher, which was excellent! Hannah suddenly decided she didn't want to go into pre-school yesterday and broke my heart by crying bitterly when I left. Of course she settled down after I had gone, but it had a more lasting effect on me. My dear friend Amanda has undergone life saving surgery this week; happily all is going well so far but she still has more treatment to endure. It has also been a difficult week for missing mum. Her memorial was put up, last time Dad was in hospital she was here and I went with her every day, and it has really got to me that their house (in many ways my home) is empty at the moment. Hannah got into nursery for September, then threw me for a loop quizzing me about her Kasai scar (see her blog). So good things and bad, and I'm left not feeling down as such, more just emotionally drained.
For some reason (maybe the two fever scares that I already spoke about on her blog) I am feeling a deep and irrational fear for Hannah at the moment. Some of our friends at Liver Families are dealing with critical medical issues at the moment, and I want to appreciate Hannah's health and zest for life and most of all being at home and not in hospital. But I look at pictures of her from a year or two years ago and she looked much healthier than she does now. In the older pictures her cheeks were pink and rosy...now she often looks pale and almost yellowish (although I suspect the latter may be my overwrought imagination). I'm sure she is OK, but at the moment that little knot of fear won't leave my stomach.
The other thing I find hard about blogging is finishing my posts satisfactorily, so I shall finish there for now.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Paint!
I've got paint. Litres of the stuff. Finally cracked and decided Christmas would be a photo free zone with the walls in the state they are. So it's B&Q value magnolia for the living room and hall, stairs and landing. Caitlin will finally get her girlie pink bedroom for which I found a beautiful pink, lilac and silver butterfly border. Sunshine girl gets yellow with teddies....sums her up! And I got some sparkly silver glaze with a view to stencilling a few...well, sparkly things.
Living room first, so I can get the decorations up. We have started feeling festive by putting the LED lights up in the front window today, although after the 'help' I had from the girls it is a miracle they still work.. I found a cool set of lights for our enormous tree (thanks Andy!) I think I eventually managed to post a photo of it last year, after some difficulty, but will do so again this year.
Living room first, so I can get the decorations up. We have started feeling festive by putting the LED lights up in the front window today, although after the 'help' I had from the girls it is a miracle they still work.. I found a cool set of lights for our enormous tree (thanks Andy!) I think I eventually managed to post a photo of it last year, after some difficulty, but will do so again this year.
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