The other evening, I was in the chat in the liver families forum, when someone asked Mika why she had a frog smilie after her name in her signature. Mika explained that the frog meant "Fully Rely On God", and she could send an email explaining the full story. Yes please, I said...
This is what I received...published here with Mika's permission.
It’s Not About the Frog
By Mika Denny
This is a little known story about faith. It was spurred on by a single email; from a friend I don’t even know that well. It’s amazing how one seemingly insignificant event can change a life forever. This story is about frogs, but by the time you are finished reading you will understand why…it’s not about the frogs.
In June of 2002, my daughter Drew had a life threatening "911" bleed caused by complications from her liver disease. That day holds the single most horrific moment of my life. The vision was something out of a horror movie. But this was not a movie. It was MY husband covered from head to toe in MY daughter’s blood because he was holding her when she started to vomit. The bathroom walls were splattered with blood. But the scariest thing of all is that we almost lost her that day. After we were released from the hospital I was in the grip of worry that was all consuming. They told us that until Drew got her liver transplant it could happen again. I wondered where we would be when the next volcano of blood would erupt. Would we be in the market? At a birthday party? I wanted to shield others from the horror that I knew could happen. It was too much to bear. I needed to overcome this worry. It was suffocating me.
July 9th I received an email... the subject line read F.R.O.G.
Here is the email exactly as it was sent.
__________________________________________________________________________
F.R.O.G.
I was told a story about a lady in the hospital who was near death
when an area Chaplain came to visit her. This Chaplain was a very young
female with long blond hair. She listened to the lady who was ill and left
her a small gift for comfort. It was a tiny ceramic frog.
The next day one of the people from the lady's church came to visit. The
lady told her friend about the beautiful young Chaplain who had come to
visit her.
The friend was so impressed with the way the lady had improved and felt the
need to talk to the young Chaplain. In her search to find the young gal, she
was repeatedly reassured that the chaplains are never very young and that
there was never a gal that fit the description given.
Upon returning to the lady in the hospital, a visiting nurse entered the room and noticed the ceramic frog. The nurse made the comment "I see you have a guardian angel with you." As she held the little frog.
We asked why she made the comment and we were informed that the frog stood
for:
(F) Fully (R ) Rely (O) On (G) God
_______________________________________________________________________
I read the email that day in July with no expectations or understanding of its meaning. At the end of the email it said “Send this to eight people and something amazing will happen in four days” or something like that... I hardly ever forward stuff that says pass this on, blah blah blah. So I deleted the email and carried on with my day.
That night I was giving Drew a bath; my moments of deepest thought somehow
find me there. Her precious belly in its naked splendor only caused me to worry. The Kasai scar reminded me of her battle, the road map of veins led my mind to worry. Does it look bigger today? I picked up a bath toy to distract my self. It was a scrubby-spongy thing. I recalled the day when my stepdaughter Mallory got it. We were in the checkout line at Stater Brothers when she remembered that she wanted a body scrubber... She ran back moments later laughing... "This is the only one I could find..." We both laughed, it had a silly frog on top.
Remembering this story while holding the frog was like a chain reaction of memories speeding through my head. I recalled that during all of Drew's trips to the lab for blood draws we would always bring the same stuffed animal for comfort. He is a silly, smiley, green frog!!! Then it all hit home and my throat became choked with emotion when I realized what had happened just four days before. We had taken Drew to UCLA for the first time to be evaluated for a liver transplant. Drew was scheduled to have an ultrasound. UCLA is a teaching hospital and there are usually other students and doctors who observe procedures. During the beginning of the procedure a woman in a white coat came in just for a short time. Even though we had a backpack full of toys, a DVD player playing a movie for Drew and a huge bag of M&M's the woman in the white coat asked us if Drew would like a toy. We sort of hesitated but said, "Okay…sure." She handed Drew a small plastic toy and then left. It was a small green frog.
_______________________
People wait their whole lives to receive some sort of sign from God to let them know that He is there. At that moment I felt like the Grinch who stole Christmas, during the part where his heart grew three times its size. But it wasn’t my heart that grew…it was my faith.
God has been so kind and gentle to us during all of these difficult times and now in his amazing, omnipotent way he showed me exactly what to do with my worry. Fully Rely on God. I am positive that none of this was a coincidence...
Without my friend sending me the email on that day, I would have missed the
most amazing thing about God. But He new I needed it that day, at that very moment and as always He pointed out how many times He has been there for us even on the days I wasn’t thinking about Him. He was with us. He helped me to realize that he is in control of our situation and that I can trust in him. Fully rely on him.
This is only the beginning chapter of this story, the rest is still being written. Frogs continue to be a sign of His love for my family and me. They come at times when I need them the most. Sometimes they are given to me by people who know the FROG story. Then there are the ones God sends. There have been many, many more and each is another chapter of His love for us.
There are times when I feel like people wouldn’t believe how many frogs have popped up in since our story began. But it’s absolutely the truth.
So know you know my story. You may never look at a frog the same way again and most importantly you know that my frog story is not about the frog.
Well, this story gave me chills, and then... A couple of days later, we were reading that day's chapter of The Purpose Driven Life, which was about spreading God's word, which I find fairly terrifying. I am not good at speaking to strangers, and the thought of just launching into a conversation with a non-believer regarding the need for God in their life makes me want to hide under the bed.
But in the chapter, Rick Warren was describing how you can so this simply by sharing stories of how God has worked in your life with others. And it struck me immediately that this was just what Mika had done with her frog story. Just having the frog in her signature was fulfilling this mission, because people get curious, and ask about it.
Just two days after I got the story, something amazing happened to me. God directly showed me the answer to a problem. I have to fulfill my part, and pass it on..
My Girls
Monday, February 27, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
Seeing life through new eyes…
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Andy and I have been reading a book together: The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren.
Rick Warren describes his book as “more than a book; it is a guide to a 40-day spiritual journey that will enable you to discover the answer to life’s most important question: What on earth am I here for?” The idea of the book is to read a chapter each day for 40 days and allow yourself time to reflect upon the contents.
Both Andy and I were brought up as Christians and regular church-goers, but in the last 10-12 years, although neither of us ‘lost’ our faith, it became a background item for much of the time. Recently I have been feeling that I wanted to get my relationship with God ‘back on track’, but didn’t have any concrete way of going about it. This book has helped me get a handle on how I should be living and why.
We’re not finished yet; we still have 11 more chapters to go, but already I have been reminded of so many important truths I had either forgotten or pushed to one side. Here are just a few. (I am not quoting directly from the book, but paraphrasing my own interpretation.)
Life on earth is a journey to prepare you for eternal life in heaven. It is also a test and a trust. Everything that happens is part of God’s plan, and it is designed to strengthen and refine your character. Your home and possessions are not really yours; they belong to God, and are the corner of his earth that he has entrusted you to look after.
Every human being is God’s unique creation, and part of his plan. If you disrespect, hurt, or fail to help other people, then you do these things to God. If you are kind, loving, helpful and forgiving to other people, you do the same to God. Jesus said exactly this in the Bible.
Even the smallest of tasks can give God glory if it is done in his name. (This in particular has really motivated me to keep the house tidy!) This put me in mind of Mother Teresa, who went quietly about the day to day of God’s work. She was not a preacher, or evangelist, but showed how wonderful and glorious God is every day of her life.
We are all sinners, and God does not expect us to be perfect. We should grow and develop throughout our lives on earth, and we will not reach spiritual maturity in this life. We can take our problems and burdens and anger to him, as well as our joy and praise.
Since I started reading this book, I have felt ‘exactly as it says on the tin’ – that my life has purpose and meaning. I have a responsibility to use the body and the talents that I have been given by God in a way which honours him. I have a responsibility to do the very best I can with what I have been given; not for my own ends, but for my ultimate purpose.
Some parts of the book have had more meaning and relevance to me than others, but I have been trying to apply the principles to things within my sphere of experience. For example, there is quite a bit about being in a bible study group. I have related this to my family, as I have never been part of a bible study group, and don’t plan to be in the near future, unless you count myself and Andy as a ‘group’.
From a purely literary critique, sometimes Mr Warren does repeat himself rather more than necessary, but from a spiritual angle, I suppose we can never be reminded often enough of these fundamental principles for living. On a more humorous note, lots of the people who have been quoted in the book seem to have very outlandish names. My particular favourite so far has been “Corrie ten Boom”.
I would strongly recommend that anyone feeling disillusioned with their life should read this book, whether they be Christian, of other faith (IMHO, all faiths worship God; they just call him by different names), or completely agnostic. Even if you are not a Christian, the fundamental principles of trying to live a selfless life apply to everyone, and to me make perfect sense.
If someone were to say to me; “What if you are wrong? What if there is no God, and no eternal life, and Jesus Christ was just an eccentric? Aren’t you wasting your life, trying to live up to the principles of a God who may not exist?” my reply would be “Firstly, that is why it is called FAITH, because it is a belief, not a scientific law. Secondly, there is no way I am wasting my life, because a selfish life is an unhappy life. I believe we should all be trying to be kind and generous, to help other people, and trying not to be greedy or destructive, whether we believe in a God or an afterlife or not. Surely those are the fundamentals of ‘humanity’?”
Rick Warren describes his book as “more than a book; it is a guide to a 40-day spiritual journey that will enable you to discover the answer to life’s most important question: What on earth am I here for?” The idea of the book is to read a chapter each day for 40 days and allow yourself time to reflect upon the contents.
Both Andy and I were brought up as Christians and regular church-goers, but in the last 10-12 years, although neither of us ‘lost’ our faith, it became a background item for much of the time. Recently I have been feeling that I wanted to get my relationship with God ‘back on track’, but didn’t have any concrete way of going about it. This book has helped me get a handle on how I should be living and why.
We’re not finished yet; we still have 11 more chapters to go, but already I have been reminded of so many important truths I had either forgotten or pushed to one side. Here are just a few. (I am not quoting directly from the book, but paraphrasing my own interpretation.)
Life on earth is a journey to prepare you for eternal life in heaven. It is also a test and a trust. Everything that happens is part of God’s plan, and it is designed to strengthen and refine your character. Your home and possessions are not really yours; they belong to God, and are the corner of his earth that he has entrusted you to look after.
Every human being is God’s unique creation, and part of his plan. If you disrespect, hurt, or fail to help other people, then you do these things to God. If you are kind, loving, helpful and forgiving to other people, you do the same to God. Jesus said exactly this in the Bible.
Even the smallest of tasks can give God glory if it is done in his name. (This in particular has really motivated me to keep the house tidy!) This put me in mind of Mother Teresa, who went quietly about the day to day of God’s work. She was not a preacher, or evangelist, but showed how wonderful and glorious God is every day of her life.
We are all sinners, and God does not expect us to be perfect. We should grow and develop throughout our lives on earth, and we will not reach spiritual maturity in this life. We can take our problems and burdens and anger to him, as well as our joy and praise.
Since I started reading this book, I have felt ‘exactly as it says on the tin’ – that my life has purpose and meaning. I have a responsibility to use the body and the talents that I have been given by God in a way which honours him. I have a responsibility to do the very best I can with what I have been given; not for my own ends, but for my ultimate purpose.
Some parts of the book have had more meaning and relevance to me than others, but I have been trying to apply the principles to things within my sphere of experience. For example, there is quite a bit about being in a bible study group. I have related this to my family, as I have never been part of a bible study group, and don’t plan to be in the near future, unless you count myself and Andy as a ‘group’.
From a purely literary critique, sometimes Mr Warren does repeat himself rather more than necessary, but from a spiritual angle, I suppose we can never be reminded often enough of these fundamental principles for living. On a more humorous note, lots of the people who have been quoted in the book seem to have very outlandish names. My particular favourite so far has been “Corrie ten Boom”.
I would strongly recommend that anyone feeling disillusioned with their life should read this book, whether they be Christian, of other faith (IMHO, all faiths worship God; they just call him by different names), or completely agnostic. Even if you are not a Christian, the fundamental principles of trying to live a selfless life apply to everyone, and to me make perfect sense.
If someone were to say to me; “What if you are wrong? What if there is no God, and no eternal life, and Jesus Christ was just an eccentric? Aren’t you wasting your life, trying to live up to the principles of a God who may not exist?” my reply would be “Firstly, that is why it is called FAITH, because it is a belief, not a scientific law. Secondly, there is no way I am wasting my life, because a selfish life is an unhappy life. I believe we should all be trying to be kind and generous, to help other people, and trying not to be greedy or destructive, whether we believe in a God or an afterlife or not. Surely those are the fundamentals of ‘humanity’?”
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
I’m so excited…..
…..about the new online communities for those affected by Paediatric Liver Disease!
Liver Families
The first place that I found people who I felt understood what it is like to live with BA was the CLASS forum. It was fantastic. A group of people with so much shared knowledge, understanding, and empathy.
Most people (including myself, pre-Hannah) don’t really know what the liver does, what bile is, or indeed anything of the medical minutiae. This means any conversation has to be started with a recap of the main facts. When you talk, virtually or otherwise, to someone who knows what all the medical stuff means, you feel liberated.
For nine months, the CLASS forum became like a second home to me. I wasn’t a prolific poster, but kept up with the kids’ updates every day, and learned so much about life with liver disease in its whole myriad of forms. When I had a question, I could go there. I always responded to posts where I felt I had some useful input.
In September, the CLASS forum was shut down for a short period. I don’t know enough about the reasons for this to debate it. The overall effect was that it was never the same again; the sense of family, of community, had gone.
I was far from the only person to feel sad about this loss. A temporary home was set up. And then it became time for a new forum. So things happened. And now, thanks in the main part to Dorothy and Mika, (but also to Amanda and Marisa) those of us affected by paediatric liver disease have a wonderful, amazing, fantastic new home.
It is fantastic! Amazing! Wonderful! Brilliant! Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.
Invitations have gone out to those signed up for the ‘temporary home’ and others will get them within the next few days. In the meantime, go on and sign up!
Paediatric Liver Disease UK
This is much simpler and on a much smaller scale, but I’m still just as excited! It’s an email group where families in the UK can discuss issues specific to our medical, benefits, education system etc. We already have 20 or so members and it is FAB!!!! Anyone interested is welcome.
I'm also excited about....
....Hannah’s feature on Babyworld. The journalist is working on it now and I am awaiting to hear when it ‘goes live’.
Liver Families
The first place that I found people who I felt understood what it is like to live with BA was the CLASS forum. It was fantastic. A group of people with so much shared knowledge, understanding, and empathy.
Most people (including myself, pre-Hannah) don’t really know what the liver does, what bile is, or indeed anything of the medical minutiae. This means any conversation has to be started with a recap of the main facts. When you talk, virtually or otherwise, to someone who knows what all the medical stuff means, you feel liberated.
For nine months, the CLASS forum became like a second home to me. I wasn’t a prolific poster, but kept up with the kids’ updates every day, and learned so much about life with liver disease in its whole myriad of forms. When I had a question, I could go there. I always responded to posts where I felt I had some useful input.
In September, the CLASS forum was shut down for a short period. I don’t know enough about the reasons for this to debate it. The overall effect was that it was never the same again; the sense of family, of community, had gone.
I was far from the only person to feel sad about this loss. A temporary home was set up. And then it became time for a new forum. So things happened. And now, thanks in the main part to Dorothy and Mika, (but also to Amanda and Marisa) those of us affected by paediatric liver disease have a wonderful, amazing, fantastic new home.
It is fantastic! Amazing! Wonderful! Brilliant! Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.
Invitations have gone out to those signed up for the ‘temporary home’ and others will get them within the next few days. In the meantime, go on and sign up!
Paediatric Liver Disease UK
This is much simpler and on a much smaller scale, but I’m still just as excited! It’s an email group where families in the UK can discuss issues specific to our medical, benefits, education system etc. We already have 20 or so members and it is FAB!!!! Anyone interested is welcome.
I'm also excited about....
....Hannah’s feature on Babyworld. The journalist is working on it now and I am awaiting to hear when it ‘goes live’.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
More lepers and leopards
Caitlin goes to the children’s liturgy during mass. This is rather like a short Sunday School (it lasts 20-25 minutes) and presents a simplified version of the gospel, simple songs, discussion and usually a colouring activity (they miss all the readings, the gospel and the homily). It is aimed at children under eight (pre First Holy Communion) and is very well done.
Last Sunday the gospel story was about….Jesus healing the leper. There was a colouring in sheet depicting the scene, which there wasn’t time to do. Shortly after returning from Mass, Caitlin busied herself with colouring in the sheet. Great opportunity, I thought, to discuss the story with her.
“What’s Jesus doing in the picture?”
“That man’s poorly, and Jesus is curing him.”
[Wow! I think. She’s taken all that in really well. Let’s call Daddy in and she can show off what she’s learned at church. Enter Daddy.]
“Tell Daddy all about what’s happening in the picture”
“Daddy, that man is a leopard, and Jesus is killing him!”
We were killing ourselves……
Last Sunday the gospel story was about….Jesus healing the leper. There was a colouring in sheet depicting the scene, which there wasn’t time to do. Shortly after returning from Mass, Caitlin busied herself with colouring in the sheet. Great opportunity, I thought, to discuss the story with her.
“What’s Jesus doing in the picture?”
“That man’s poorly, and Jesus is curing him.”
[Wow! I think. She’s taken all that in really well. Let’s call Daddy in and she can show off what she’s learned at church. Enter Daddy.]
“Tell Daddy all about what’s happening in the picture”
“Daddy, that man is a leopard, and Jesus is killing him!”
We were killing ourselves……
Monday, February 13, 2006
Catch Up
As the weeks have gone by this blog post has become more and more intimidating as I find more and more to write. So…a quick catch up, then I can feel like I can get stuck into some topics in detail.
In no particular order, because that gets tricky….
Me
I had a nasty tooth extraction 3 weeks ago. OUCH :-(
I had most of my hair chopped off at the start of January. I’ve not been radical with my hair for about 15 years. It was great – amazingly exhilarating. I like it, and I can ‘style’ it myself, at least in relation to previous cuts.
I have been on a mission to organise my life. There’s still a way to go, but I’ve made BIG progress. Tidy living room and kitchen!!!!!!!!
An update on my New Year resolutions: The car is still here (GRR) but not for too much longer, I hope. The financial sorting out is well under way. The CLDF resolution is also going quite well. I have been in contact with Sarah the fundraising officer, who has been great, and I am in the planning stages for a couple of ideas. I have also contacted Babyworld and they are going to run an article featuring Hannah, which is very exciting, so watch this space. Rachel from CLDF has helped with this.
I have been busy with a new email group, Paediatric Liver Disease UK, and the new Liver Families Forum. (Links soon, as the forum opens this week). More detail on these later, but I am VERY excited about both of them.
Elly and Arthur visited a couple of weeks ago, which was nothing short of delightful. I am already excited about the next visit.
Andy and I have been reading a book about God’s Purpose for your life. I can’t possibly sum it up quickly, so it’s another ‘more later’.
Holiday booked – same as last year. Hurrah!
Andy
Is the king of the PDT (hand held computer) at work, and very busy. Paid overtime – for the second time in 8.5 years!
Caitlin
Her parents evening report from Nursery was very good! Although she is one of the youngest children in the class, she is not disadvantaged because her language is so good. She plays with lots of different children and has learned to take turns and share. She loves the craft activities (surprise, surprise). She is learning to trace over the letters of her name.
She is making rapid progress with letters and numbers, and is getting very good at dressing and undressing herself. She likes to choose her own clothes in the morning, and Hannah’s too sometimes – and mine!
Caitlin has been to two birthday parties and loved them both. New life skill: Buying decent, reasonably priced gifts for small boys.
Today she received a certificate from Nursery (in the post, it’s half term) for being “consistently well presented”. Much excitement and promises of treats. (Follows a previous disappointment where other children got them and she didn’t! ) When we rang Daddy to tell him, he was informed that the postman had brought her a certificate for looking pretty at nursery.
Quick quote: “That’s our planet, mummy. [Cbeebies programme about wildlife, the Earth appears now and then] Don’t forget, it’s blue and white!”
Current most commonly occurring phrase: “Hannah’s not sharing with me, Mummy”
Oh, and more on lepers soon…..
Hannah
Nasty cold + no decrease in activity level
Better
MMR
OK
Nasty cold + chesty cough + temperature + no decrease in activity level
LOTS of new words. Too many to list. If you say something she doesn’t like she says ‘New’ (the closest I can get to how she says no) and puts her hands over her eyes. Help.
Climbing. More climbing. And then some more.
Obsession with phones.
Obsession with clothes.
Baptism
AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Coming up, 12th March.
Dad
No oncology for 12 months!!! Hassling the hospital chief exec (fair play) seems to have won him the battle with ‘Dr Nasty, Patronising and Unhelpful, Dermatology Consultant, and he’s clear from gastroenterology too!
Me again
Time for sleep. Back soon.
In no particular order, because that gets tricky….
Me
I had a nasty tooth extraction 3 weeks ago. OUCH :-(
I had most of my hair chopped off at the start of January. I’ve not been radical with my hair for about 15 years. It was great – amazingly exhilarating. I like it, and I can ‘style’ it myself, at least in relation to previous cuts.
I have been on a mission to organise my life. There’s still a way to go, but I’ve made BIG progress. Tidy living room and kitchen!!!!!!!!
An update on my New Year resolutions: The car is still here (GRR) but not for too much longer, I hope. The financial sorting out is well under way. The CLDF resolution is also going quite well. I have been in contact with Sarah the fundraising officer, who has been great, and I am in the planning stages for a couple of ideas. I have also contacted Babyworld and they are going to run an article featuring Hannah, which is very exciting, so watch this space. Rachel from CLDF has helped with this.
I have been busy with a new email group, Paediatric Liver Disease UK, and the new Liver Families Forum. (Links soon, as the forum opens this week). More detail on these later, but I am VERY excited about both of them.
Elly and Arthur visited a couple of weeks ago, which was nothing short of delightful. I am already excited about the next visit.
Andy and I have been reading a book about God’s Purpose for your life. I can’t possibly sum it up quickly, so it’s another ‘more later’.
Holiday booked – same as last year. Hurrah!
Andy
Is the king of the PDT (hand held computer) at work, and very busy. Paid overtime – for the second time in 8.5 years!
Caitlin
Her parents evening report from Nursery was very good! Although she is one of the youngest children in the class, she is not disadvantaged because her language is so good. She plays with lots of different children and has learned to take turns and share. She loves the craft activities (surprise, surprise). She is learning to trace over the letters of her name.
She is making rapid progress with letters and numbers, and is getting very good at dressing and undressing herself. She likes to choose her own clothes in the morning, and Hannah’s too sometimes – and mine!
Caitlin has been to two birthday parties and loved them both. New life skill: Buying decent, reasonably priced gifts for small boys.
Today she received a certificate from Nursery (in the post, it’s half term) for being “consistently well presented”. Much excitement and promises of treats. (Follows a previous disappointment where other children got them and she didn’t! ) When we rang Daddy to tell him, he was informed that the postman had brought her a certificate for looking pretty at nursery.
Quick quote: “That’s our planet, mummy. [Cbeebies programme about wildlife, the Earth appears now and then] Don’t forget, it’s blue and white!”
Current most commonly occurring phrase: “Hannah’s not sharing with me, Mummy”
Oh, and more on lepers soon…..
Hannah
Nasty cold + no decrease in activity level
Better
MMR
OK
Nasty cold + chesty cough + temperature + no decrease in activity level
LOTS of new words. Too many to list. If you say something she doesn’t like she says ‘New’ (the closest I can get to how she says no) and puts her hands over her eyes. Help.
Climbing. More climbing. And then some more.
Obsession with phones.
Obsession with clothes.
Baptism
AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Coming up, 12th March.
Dad
No oncology for 12 months!!! Hassling the hospital chief exec (fair play) seems to have won him the battle with ‘Dr Nasty, Patronising and Unhelpful, Dermatology Consultant, and he’s clear from gastroenterology too!
Me again
Time for sleep. Back soon.
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